He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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