I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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