How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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