You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
