i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
