and i looked up. we had an audience...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
