I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
