can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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