The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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