This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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