How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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