Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
