great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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