Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I love you.
Bad choice
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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