Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
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