My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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