There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
