The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
