Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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