And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
