i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
