remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
