this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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