thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
