I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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