evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
