Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
