Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
