where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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