I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
