ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
