"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
