Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
