His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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