You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
