How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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