I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
