the new term for farting is butt boxing.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
