why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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