miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
