she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
