found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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