Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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