You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
