You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
