Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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