i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
