what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
