I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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