Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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