NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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