i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
