mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
